A CD of cats meowing popular Christmas songs. A chew toy with the head already gnawed off by his canine brother who chewed his way into the gift box around the 15th of the month. A chew toy shaped like a shoe which he is immediately going to confuse with the right sneaker of your favorite pair. Central A/C for his Dogloo when you're still using individual wall units that are barely up to cooling a small close-size area in your house. Anything Garfield. A remote control for the refrigerator door. A knitted pink sweater that makes your macho Doberman look like a poodle. A deluxe prepackaged treat-filled Christmas stocking that's large enough for you to use as a sleeping bag. Doggie antlers when your nearsighted hunting relatives will be spending the holidays with you. A stuffed toy dog with an angel's halo as a hint as to what he has to do to get more presents next year. A doggie door between you and the suspicious butcher next door. An audition for a diet dog food commercial where they feed him so much during retakes that he actually gains weight. A piece of jewelry featuring a ceramic dog of his breed for you to wear. His own Petsmart credit card. A cat.
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