* Promises to improve foreign relations with Hawaii. * Runs a series of attack ads against Martin Sheen's character on "The West Wing". * His #1 choice to work on his cabinet is "That Bob Vila guy". * Outstanding record as Governor of Rhode Island nullified by the fact that no one really cares. * Got his degree in Political Economics by bribing Sally Struthers with a chocolate donut. * Anybody mentions Washington, he asks, "The state or the DC thingie?" * At the debates, answers every question with a snarled, "You wanna wrestle?" * Vows to put an end to the war in Pokemon and free the Pikachu refugees once and for all. * Says the Pledge of Allegiance as quickly as possible, then shouts, "I win!" * On the very first question of the debate, he attempts to use a lifeline.
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